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Beka McDowell's avatar

Oh Maile. I’m dying. And hoping I don’t wet myself from laughing because that happens too. The words did come, friend, and they came well. My biggest failure of body (which just made me sad and want to cry, so clearly I need an attitude adjustment) was when I had a terrible, bordering on bronchitis cough that came and went multiple times this winter. I discovered adult diapers are a gift from God above, and my beautiful husband is too, because he lovingly bought them for me when I was far too embarrassed. Turns out my Swiss cheese of a pelvic floor is no match for coughing.

We are women, hear us roar. But maybe after we stop at the bathroom.

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Maile Silva's avatar

Roar we shall, dear Beka! Roar we shall! Thanks for sharing, friend.

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Susan Mulder's avatar

Oh, Maile, you are so not alone! I'm not a big commenter- but we girls need to stick together. Life happens in the most inconvenient places, like yesterday(perfect timing, eh?) at a job site installing a mural where the only bathroom is a delapitated port a John, in a dark corner behind the building, in a dodgy neighborhood, that I was reluctant to use. I only had a few more lines to get sketched in, but they were high and I needed to move my 12' ladder. I did what I usually do- reached under to lift so I don't scrape the fresh tile and, well, you know the rest of the story. There was no way I was leaving without finishing those lines, so I swallowed what little pride I have, got them done and drove the hour home. When I go back to actually paint, I'm going to be sure to know where the nearest real bathroom is!

Three cheers for growing older with grace and a sense of humor! And perhaps some of those fancy, newfangled undies🤣 (can't believe I'm going to post this🫣)

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Maile Silva's avatar

Susan, you're so brave!!! Thanks for posting about your own experience--it always feels good to know one isn't alone in the embarrassments of body and soul:)

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Aimee Guest's avatar

This was so brave and well written. I think my jaw actually dropped when I got to the climax of your story. She really admitted that?!

I have a bladder condition called interstitial cystitis. I thought it would last a few weeks. It’s lasted 7 years so far. But a few years in I started doing things that seemed impossible with my condition. Kayaking. Overseas trips. It’s never easy but I’m so glad I keep saying yes.

And oh my goodness my kids/husband are well tuned into the situation.

I’ve only mentioned it by name in my newsletter once or twice because talking about my bladder seems like the best way to lose readers. 🫣

Thanks for being brave for all of us. And for the laughs too.

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Maile Silva's avatar

Thank you for your kind words. I admit that I had second thoughts about publishing it after I wrote it. "Is this too much?" I asked myself. And then quickly behind that came the resolution, "What the hell. It may not be pretty, but it's the truth." It's a nice thought to think that this wasn't just written for me. Thanks for that, Aimee.

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Kris Camealy's avatar

Pelvic floor therapy is changing my perimenopausal life….you’re not alone. This was hilarious and so real. 🤪

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Maile Silva's avatar

Pelvic floor therapy. Hmmm. I'm intrigued, Kris! Thanks for reading!

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Laura's avatar

Yes, pelvic floor therapists are a God-send!!! Mine made me feel understood and unashamed when I saw her after the birth of my fourth child.

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Tresta Payne's avatar

THANK YOU for saying the hilarious parts out loud. This story was a good laugh and a little tear in my eye for how endearing old-love is.

My kryptonite has been 3 1/2 months of bronchial coughing. Good for the abs; bad for the pants. My daughters laugh whenever they see me brace for a cough but they've each just had their first babies, so *they know*.

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Maile Silva's avatar

Kryptonite! I love that, Tresta! It's so true--we are powerless against coughing, jumping, running with anywhere close to a full bladder, etc. Kryptonite, yes. Which means we're Super Women, right?!?

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Amy Reese's avatar

Thank you so much, Maile, for having the courage, humor, and wisdom to be real about aging! Love this so much. I, too, have strict beverage policies when I’m out! Kudos to Shawn for being a great partner ❤️

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Maile Silva's avatar

Amy, it's good to know that I'm not alone in my "strict beverage policies", as you put it. Thanks for reading!

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Lisa U.'s avatar

Every “older” woman reading this story just felt so very seen! Thanks for the laughs and encouragement! I also love your writing style, looking forward to following you and your stories ☺️

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Maile Silva's avatar

Lisa, welcome to Nooks & Crannies, and thank you for your kind words!

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Laura's avatar

Oh friend! I laughed and cringed right along with you. I can relate. I will leave you an audio message soon about it!

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Maile Silva's avatar

Laura, I actually thought about you when this happened! What these children do to our bodies as we birth them into the world--good Lord!

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Sherilyn  Miller's avatar

This is MARVELOUS!!! Gorgeous, laugh out loud funny, and so beautiful. I'm not sure if I have ever read something this beautiful--it makes my heart go completely still.♥️

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Maile Silva's avatar

Aw, Sherilyn, you are so kind. So so glad you enjoyed it!

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Lore Wilbert's avatar

Just reading this now. Solidarity, sister. Solidarity.

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Kerry Hoke's avatar

You are NOT alone! I’ve been there too, literally in just about every way you describe. Let me just say that pelvic floor therapy has helped me live again . . . at least somewhat normally. Hit me up if you want to talk more!

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Maile Silva's avatar

Oh, Kerry, I want to talk more. "Pelvic floor therapy" is music to my ears!

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Kerry Hoke's avatar

Let’s do it. I’ll DM you.

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Nancy Myers's avatar

You are your Mother! How many times we have laughed so hard we cried in the same situation! Ask her about Disney World!

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Maile Silva's avatar

Oh, I will, Nancy! Thanks so much for reading!

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Diane McConnell's avatar

Honey, last year I was visiting a beau. We were on his lovely patio, sitting on truly antique chairs.

Suddenly, I sneezed, and as I did I shat pure diahrrea in my pants and on his beautiful chair.

My immediate response was to throw my head back and laugh hardily. I was mortified, but it was funny as hell!

I was staying over so I had clothes.

The pants were hermetically sealed and thrown away !

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Maile Silva's avatar

Diane, my husband read your comment before I had the chance to and he actually came out of his office laughing hysterically, trying to read it for me. Thanks for the laughs and your vulnerability in sharing your story. I have to know...what did your beau do????

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Diane McConnell's avatar

He followed me to the shower, snatched up the poopy pants and slammed them into some sort of upright, airtight container. Then put the entire thing in the garbage bin! Bye bye poopy pants !

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Jeane Miller's avatar

This was the best day brightener ever. I was laughing so hard I had to muster up a few quivering kegels (sorry for the visual)! Your writing would make Norah Ephron sing from the grave! Thank you for employing your remarkable gift.

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Maile Silva's avatar

"Quivering kegels." Oh, Jeane, you crack me up. What a perfect phrase! Hugs to you, friend!

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Jody Allen's avatar

So honest and relatable! Thanks, Maile. And I’m glad your mom is moving in.

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Maile Silva's avatar

Thank you, Jody! It's so good to have her here!

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Gabriele Burgess's avatar

This was so relatable! I loved how you kept going and had a good time. I have become your fan. Your story will stay with me as I trace to the bathrooms around me.

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Maile Silva's avatar

Thank you, Gabriele, for your kind words. Good luck in making it to the bathroom in time!

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